Friendships are one of the most beautiful blessings in life, but sometimes, they can become a source of frustration and confusion, especially when they feel one-sided. In today’s post, I’m diving into the importance of building friendships that are intentional and reciprocal—relationships where both people invest in each other equally. I’ve had my fair share of one-sided friendships, and this year, I’ve made a commitment: I’m focused on nurturing relationships that reflect God’s design for true connection.

Friendship According to the Bible

The Bible speaks to the beauty of friendship, with one of the most powerful verses being John 15:13: "A true friend lays down their life for their friends." While we might not literally be asked to lay down our lives for our friends, this verse speaks to the selflessness, investment, and intentionality required in a healthy friendship. Relationships, especially friendships, thrive when both individuals are willing to show up, communicate openly, and work through disagreements together. That’s what a true, God-centered friendship looks like.

Me and my very best friend on our Girls’ trip.

The Beauty of Long-Lasting Friendships

I’m blessed to have some amazing friends—some of whom I’ve known for over a decade. Our friendships haven’t always been perfect. Like any meaningful relationship, we’ve had our disagreements. But what makes these relationships strong is that we always come back to the table, willing to work through our differences. We don’t let minor disagreements drive us apart because we value the relationship and each other. This is what a healthy friendship looks like—both people are invested, intentional, and committed to making it work.

The Struggle with One-Sided Friendships

On the other hand, there are friendships that fade, not because of a big fallout but because of a lack of intention. Have you ever been in a friendship where you’re the only one reaching out, checking in, or making an effort? When you try to bring it up, the other person just shrugs it off, or maybe they make empty promises without real change? This can be incredibly frustrating and emotionally draining.

Friendship isn’t about convenience—it’s about commitment. Both people should feel invested in each other’s lives, not just when it’s easy, but even when it’s challenging. If you’re constantly the one giving, and the other person is consistently pulling away, it might be time to take a step back.

Teaching My Kids About Friendship

One of the most important things I’ve learned in my journey with friendships is the importance of teaching my children what a true friendship looks like. The other day, my daughter called someone her "best friend," and I asked her, "What makes them your best friend?" She paused for a moment, unable to answer. That conversation turned into a valuable lesson about how friendship is more than just a title—it’s about intentional action.

This lesson is one we, as adults, need to reflect on as well. Do our friendships reflect love, sacrifice, and intentionality? Are they mutually uplifting, or do we constantly feel confused about where we stand? It’s so important to evaluate the friendships in our lives and ensure they align with God’s design for relationships.

Letting Go of One-Sided Friendships

One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn is that you can’t force someone to value you. If someone consistently fails to show up for the relationship, it’s not your job to convince them of your worth. If your efforts aren’t being reciprocated, it’s okay to step back and make space for the friendships God truly has for you.

It’s important to ask yourself: Are your friendships truly mutual? Are they nurturing, uplifting, and intentional? If the answer is no, it might be time to reassess. You deserve friendships that reflect the love and sacrifice we’re called to, friendships that build you up rather than drain you.

Final Thoughts

I hope this post encourages you to reflect on the friendships in your life. We’re all worthy of relationships that are reciprocal, intentional, and rooted in love. If you’re struggling with friendships that feel one-sided or emotionally draining, take a step back and evaluate what you’re truly giving your energy to.

Friendship is a beautiful thing, but it requires work, intention, and a commitment to showing up for one another. If you find yourself in a one-sided relationship, remember that it’s okay to walk away and make room for those who truly value you.

If this message resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to drop a comment below or share your experiences with one-sided friendships. You’re not alone, and together, we can encourage each other to build lasting, God-centered relationships.